All the pain in the world
by Aoife-faye
Summary: Laughter. Happiness. Peace. And above all, love. Pure and unconditional love. Things like that don't really exist in the world I live in. It's a lie. A lie to make up for the world that's real. A lie to cover up all the pain, suffering and loss. Then I met him. The boy with the sea-green eyes. He made me happy. He gave me the luxury of peace. But that all changed, the day he died.
1. Prolouge

**(A/:N) Hey guys. I don't even know whether anyone will read this AN or the fanfic at all, but this is my second Percy dies fanfic. My first one didn't go out so well so I decided to restart. Please don't think of me as a cold hearted bitch who doesn't like percabeth, because I do, truly! It has a plot (hopefully!) that will be revealed later on soooo...  
Anyway, this is just the prologue, the first chapter will be updated soon if I feel bothered.**

_**Prologue- Annabeth's POV**_

Laughter. Happiness. Peace. And above all, love. Pure and unconditional love. Things like that don't really exist in the world I live in. It's a lie. A lie to make up for the world that's real. A lie to cover up all the pain, suffering and loss.

When I was seven, I tried to run away from the suffering. I thought it would end when I found solace with two friends. I was wrong. One of them died protecting us and for the first time, I truly experienced loss.

When I was twelve I met a boy with raven hair and sea-green eyes. Cute, but nothing special. Again, I was wrong. This certain boy became my best friend. He made me feel happy. He made me laugh. He _gave_ me the luxury of peace.

When I was fourteen, I was tricked into holding up the sky and experienced the true horror of pain. Excruciating pain and the thing that hurt the most of all; Betrayal. But he again had saved me. Percy, had saved me.

Throughout the years, I constantly felt the hurt, the betrayal and most importantly, loss. But through the pain, I found comfort, contentment and love. When I was with Percy, I no longer saw the world in black and white. I no longer felt jaded. I was able to see why all the grief and the heartache in the world existed. I was able to see that virtues like serenity, devotion and care were real and survived through all the torment in life. I was able to see that they balanced each other out and made the world equal. I was able to see that love was real. Sheer, utter and complete love.

But that all changed, the day he died.

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**So that was it, I kinda like how it went. I might edit it from time to time so to anyone who read this, check for edits because I'm stupid and yeah...  
Well, hope you liked it! Review and tell me what you think. Bye!**

**~Aoife**


	2. Today is the day

**The second chapter, yay. To be honest, you can't even call this a chapter, I only needed it to show what camp is like now since my sea babe died :(  
I'm gonna write a chapter on how Percy died soon enough, you're just gonna have to wait and 'sea' though. (Sorry about the bad pun, I just couldn't help it!) This chapter's kinda boring so I wouldn't blame you for skipping. You probably skipped this AN too now that I think about it.**

_**CHAPTER 1: Today is the day- Annabeth's POV**_

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He had promised. Before everything fell apart, he had promised me that we would get through this. We would be happy in New Rome and we wouldn't have to worry about monsters or anything ever again. We would have a chance to be as normal as demi-godly possible and everything would be perfect.

But that promise was broken. He sacrificed himself for me. Percy had died because of me.

All the pain, suffering and loss in the world could not compare as to how I felt when I held his body in my arms, the panicked and helpless feeling I had as I watched the life die in his sea-green eyes or how his last smile cut through me like daggers piercing my heart.

I whimpered slightly, as the painful memories rushed back to me, causing my fingers to tighten as I clutched a photograph of me and him laughing by the camp half-blood lake with the sun setting behind us, creating beautiful rays of orange and red with tinges of pink and purple in the sky. How could something so beautiful be shattered in mere moments?

Percy's mischievous green eyes sparkled back up at me, matching his lopsided grin. He had taken me by surprise, an arm around my shoulder and using an old polaroid camera to take the photo, with me laughing beside him. Those were the times I had smiled brightly.

I pressed the photograph against my chest as I dipped my feet into the waters of the lake while sitting on the edge of the wooden pier. I sighed softly and watched as the stars shone brightly against the dark sky, practically begging me to name all the constellations in the sky to Percy like I used to.

"Wish you were here..." I whispered, my eyes stinging.

"It's not the same without you Percy. Everything hurts. I miss you." I said my voice trailing away as I squeezed my eyes shut.

I gently lay down on the pier, my back against the cool, smooth wood and my feet in the water. Who knows how long I stayed there. Two minutes, two hours? I didn't care. Keeping track of time was difficult since I became immortal along with the rest of the seven.

I didn't notice the figure moving to sit beside me.

"Hey." Thalia said, wrapping her arms around her knees as she drew them up to her chest. Since Percy died, I noticed something off about the daughter of Zeus. Anyone who saw her would see a tough lieutenant of Artemis. At second glance, you would be able to define that she suffered great loss. And anyone who really knew her would see the dullness in her electric blue eyes, the missing fiery spark whenever she made a snarky comeback. How vulnerable she really was inside. First Luke, now her cousin. Who else would she lose in the future?

I didn't respond. "You're...gonna miss the gathering." She murmured, the wind playing around with her spiky black hair.

After a moment of silence I replied, "Thats kinda the point."

Thalia sighed. "You don't mean that."

"How would you know? Your heart wasn't ripped into a million pieces." I snapped, my voice slightly wavering. Thalia scowled, her patience wearing thin. She wasn't in the mood today. To be frank, no-one was. And that was completely understandable considering _today_ was the day.

Thalia grabbed my arm, easily hauling me up to my feet. I pulled away from her grasp looking down angrily. I was too afraid to say anything. To afraid to say something that could break the hard shell I had built around myself.

"You're going to the gathering Annabeth. Today is the day." She grimaced. Without another word, I silently walked to the huge bonfire where the Apollo campers used to sing at night. They never did that anymore.

Instead, gloomy campers were waiting, either standing at the back, or sitting on logs in front of the fire. A couple of people looked up and smiled in sympathy for me. I ignored them and sat in between Piper and Thalia who had walked with me from the pier.

Other than a few whispers here and there, it was quiet, the flames of the fire providing warmth.

I closed my eyes and let a tear roll down my cheek. Today was the day. The day that honoured the hero of Olympus. The day that reminded us that we won against Gaea. The day that marked the 5th year of Percy Jackson's death.

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**Dun Dun Dun! Nah just kidding. No cliffhanger thank goodness. I hate those. Anyway, the next chapter is coming out soon, so stay tuned and in the meantime, review and tell me what you think. Bye!**

**EDIT: Sorry about the short notice but I actually drew a picture of the photo that Annabeth had. It's basically just a representation of a head-canon that I have. If Rick _does_ kill off Percy in the Blood of Olympus (I highly doubt that he will), Annabeth will mourn and just like go through his cabin and find a pin board in the mess with like tons of photos of his friends and his one and only wise-girl! And Annabeth takes this like one photo and cries over it and you know what happens next.  
So check out the drawing if you do ever have the time at Arasei's tumblr!  
**

**~Aoife**


	3. What I would give

**By the gods... I'm going to die aren't I? I'm going to be punished for writing this...**

**_Chapter 2: What I would give- Annabeth's POV_**

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When the love of your life dies in front of your eyes, you become cold, empty, broken. Your brain can't even register what happened, and then it starts. Your heart which you've so willingly given away to him starts to shatter and all the happiness he's given you has been ripped out of your soul.

How do I know this? I think you know.

It started with anger. Anger against the one and only earth goddess who had the ability to put you through hell. Literally. I mean, survivor of Tartarus here! I know what the pain feels like first hand.

We fought everything. From giants to evil cheerleaders we fought. The arai definitely made things harder but that wasn't all. Gaea stood at the centre of the battlefield watching the roman and greek camps fight the monsters with an amused expression on her face. I snarled. We were going to win. But even I could see that the warriors were beginning to weaken. There was only one choice. Go for the queen.

I gripped my dagger and ripped through the monsters, dodging several giants and slicing through any human's worst nightmares, making it rain golden dust around me.

Gaea merely smirked as she watched me run at a crazy speed towards her, merely chuckling when I began to attack. Despite my best efforts, my dagger had no effect against the goddess, only slicing through her like she consisted of wet, sloppy clay.

"Oh Annabeth. When will you learn?" She laughed, her voice raspy like dirt was clogged in her throat. She grabbed my wrist twisting it sharply, my dagger falling out of my hand. Pulling out a stone knife and pressing it against my throat, she hissed, "Watch daughter of Athena and meet your nightmare."

I barely even managed to hear the person calling out my name as Gaea prepared to slit my throat. 'This is it. This is the end.' I thought. "Sorry Percy." I whispered, closing my eyes.

At the last second, Gaea roughly threw me aside causing my head to hit the ground, making the world suddenly begin to spin, becoming more and more disoriented by the second. As my hearing became fuzzy, I twisted around to face Gaea and instead saw her fighting against a teenager, a teenager with messy raven black hair. And in one quick movement, she plunged her knife into his stomach cackling in triumph, just as my vision was thrown into clear focus.

"No..." I breathed as the teenager fell to his knees.

"NO!" I screamed, my voice ringing painfully throughout the battlefield as I grabbed Percy's sword and ran through Gaea's 'heart' with it. The goddess gasped in shock staggering backwards, her black eyes wide in surprise. I watched her in disgust as she disintegrated into dirt collecting in a pile.

I dropped the sword and stumbled to Percy who was writhing on the ground in pain, wincing as he pressed a hand against his wound.

"P-Percy..." I whispered hoarsely, kneeling down and setting his head on my lap.

"Hey, Annie-OW!" He cried when I slapped his arm.

"Don't call me that." I mumbled as I removed his hands from his stomach and inspected the wound.

"Gods, I'm dying here Wise-girl!" He chuckled, smiling painfully as I desperately tried to find some ambrosia or nectar in my pockets, and ended up finding nada.

"Y-You...YOU IDIOT!" I screeched, frantically applying pressure on his stomach.

"Why would you do that! Barge in and attack Gaea! W-why..." I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut as the first tears began fall, grabbing a fistful of his blood-stained camp half-blood t-shirt.

Percy chuckled, grasping my hand in his own. "Cuz you're my wise-girl. I love you." He murmured. I shook my head angrily. This was _so _not acceptable. We...We were so close! So close to being happy...And now, he was going to die. All because of me. He was going to die because the daughter of Athena lost her calm and wasn't able to come up with a plan. Ironic. His downfall.

All because...because of me. My seaweed brain.

"Percy Jackson, if you so much as die, I'm going to kill you!" I cried, earning a dutiful smirk from him.

"Hey...Do something for me ok?" He said, breathing uneven.

"Percy don't! No last words or anything! You're going to be fine! Y-You have to be..."

He simply grinned in response, "Smile, ok?" He said, giving me a final lopsided grin as he squeezed my hand once before his grip loosened and as I watched the life slowly die out of those mischievous, playful green eyes.

"Seaweed-brain..." I mumbled. pressing a hand against his chest as I kissed him. No warmth, no emotion. No nothing. Nothing except coldness.

"No..." I whispered, closing his eyes and resting my forehead against his, tears dripping down my face as I cradled his body in my arms.

How could I smile? In one moment, I had truly lost _everything _that mattered to me. The times I had felt pain, suffering and loss was a dream against this. Because this, this was torment. Pure and utter agony. What I would give to get Percy back? Everything, including me. She did this. Gaea, did this. She took from me in a mere matter of seconds the only thing I had left, the only thing that made me fight for a cause, leaving me abandoned and lost.

But deep down, I knew. In the end, Percy's death was my fault. He had died because of me. And that thought haunted me. It hurt, more than anything in the world and little by little, it destroyed me.

Because all the pain in the world was nothing compared to this.

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**I can't... I can't even...Just, someone stop me.**

**I'm going to just leave this chapter here. Review... (See?! I can't even say review with enthusiasm anymore. I need help.)**

**EDIT: I added a couple of things btw. I don't even know why I bother but, eh. It was an attempt to make the chapter longer but considering the fact that if I made it too long it would be ridiculously cheesy and just stupid (like it isn't already), I simply decided to keep it like it is. 1000 and something words.  
**

**Oh yeah, I'm kinda stuck on a plot so send me ideas on what I should write because I'll definitely take it into account.**

**~Aoife**


	4. Author's note (Disclaimer)

**(A:N/)Hey guys! Sorry about repeating chapter 2 and 3! I was editing and something happened and yeaaaaaa. Anyway, I'm kinda stuck as to how I should proceed with the story so if you can, please help me out cuz I'm kinda on a writers block. Btw, I drew a picture of the photograph in chapter 2 so check out Arasei's tumblr if you have the time. Thanks for your support!**

**Percy: Comeon Aoife! You promised you would say it!  
Me: I never promised anything of the sort.  
Percy: Aoife...  
Me: I don't want to-ACK! SOMEONE GET RIORDAN OFF ME! HOLY SHIT THAT'S MY HAIR! OW, WHAT THE HELL!  
Percy: *Smirks* You should have said it.**

**_1 hour later_**

**Me: *Sighs* FINE, WHATEVER! I'll say it. "I don't own Percy Jackson...yet!  
Percy: Aoife!  
Rick Riordan: GET READY FOR ROUND 2! *Attacks poor helpless girl sitting at her computer***

**~Aoife**


	5. The end of the fairytale

**Sorry it's been so long...**

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Love...It's more than just an emotion. It's beautiful yet ugly, pure and at the same time tainted. It can be described as more than _just _the word love itself. No, it's many things, it's infinite. Once you find it, you only just then fully realise what it truly means. To many it means _forever__. _For others it means _always._ And for people like me, it means _one._ It means there's really only _one_ person in the world that can give the privilege of being in love. The privilege of experiencing passion and purity. There's _only one._

5 years ago, my one person died. The person that meant everything to me. The person that had promised me _'together forever' _and _'I'll always be here for you.'  
_

I understood why he died. I wasn't angry at him. It wasn't his fault. No, the only person I was mad at was myself. It was my fault. My fault he was gone forever. And that hurt. The truth I mean. Realising and knowing he died because of me kept me awake at night. The nightmares, the fears...The truth. It scared me.

It was a game. Love, was a game in itself. Taunting you, begging for you to try and fall for its lies. And that was how I saw it since he left. It was a brutal game that no-one would ever be able to win, no matter how hard you try, because in the end? Everyone loses. I lost the game. Oh, I lost it big time. I had the chance at the jackpot and I let it go. It was like being in heaven and then getting kicked out. It wasn't fair.

I knew the truth about love and what it had in store. I knew the end game. And let me say this, the beginning and hardships of the fairytale are better than the happy endings. Why? Because there are no happy endings. Is there? I don't really know.

This whole thing is stupid. Me ranting about love. I know all about it, and yet, I know nothing. When Percy died, I assumed that was the end of the road. The end of the fairytale. My whole life led up to this. But I was wrong. I should have known better than to give up. Because what's really at the end isn't what anyone would expect. The end isn't written out and planned. It's a clean slate. A way for you to improvise. The end is the beginning. And the beginning is really the start of the end.

I died a happy woman who lived out my life to the fullest. I stopped crying. I stopped hiding in the shadows. I ran out and embraced the sunshine. I smiled as I remembered every single detail about the one I loved. For the first time in years, I laughed. And it felt good. It was liberating.

And so, I lived out my life. I went on. I helped people and died saving another child of Poseidon. Penance? Ironic? Maybe poetic justice? Either way I was happy. I had lived and I had died. And now, I was free. I finally saw my seaweed-brain again, waiting for me by the beach with his dishevelled black hair blowing in the careless ocean breeze, familiar sea-green eyes bright in excitement.

So in the end, I lost the game of love, but that was ok. Because I won anyway. I met my special person and loved him as much as he loved me and that, that was enough. I didn't bother sticking around for another try at the game because I knew. I knew I would see him again.

So to answer your question. What lies ahead of you at the end of the fairytale?

Well, who the hell knows?

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**Poetic justice at it's best. Review please!**

**~Aoife**


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